Kings Island. 7/20/2009
Last weekend, Luke, Nate, and Glenn all came down to Cincinnati for our trip to Kings Island.

On Thursday, everyone arrived and we went to B-dubs for dinner. I drove there, and right as I was about to pull out of the parking lot, I had to slam on my brakes as some girl shot down the road. It's impossible to see that direction, but she gave me a thumbs up for trying. We came back and played some Rock Band, except Glenn was too pissed to play. He missed out. After that, we played Settlers of Catan - a game that Nate and I had previously said we wouldn't play because his coworker Ben liked it. It turned out to be quite fun and I will probably be purchasing it in the near future. After that, we horked around some more on our laptops except for Nate, who used his iPhone instead.

On Friday, we left at 9:15 for Kings Island and stopped at McDonald's on the way for Breakfast. We didn't quite make it to the park in time for the 10:00 opening, so we rushed over to Diamondback and had to wait for a bit. It was probably the best coaster of the day - very fast and smooth. After that, we rode the Beast and Vortex. At the station for the Beast, the ride attendant said some junk about the roller coaster over the mic and finished with " Kings Island, where everything is made of wood, except for some stuff." This further reinforced that Cedar Fair must encourage its ride attendants to say goofy junk over the speakers.

Unfortunately, while in line for the Vortex, we encountered some "line jumpers." Line jumping is not considered a sport at Kings Island and may result in ejection from the park. These jokers were just walking past people, telling anyone that asked what the hork they were doing that they were "meeting their friends" further up in line. Most people seemed to accept this rather than risk a confrontation. Plus, the people were black, so if anyone really questioned them, they could just claim that the people were being racist. So anyway, they got up to us, and Luke bravely stood in their way and said that they couldn't just cut in front of us. They angrily responded that they "weren't cutting." Then I got pissed.

There are a few things that get me very pissed. One is when people tell embarrassing stories about me. Another is when people cut in line. I stepped in and asked them what they were doing and they said they were "waiting in line." They asked me if I worked there several times, as if me not working there didn't give us a right to stop them in line. They yapped away some more, but didn't try to get past us. I was pretty pleased that we stopped them. Apparently, some people behind them were also pissed because I kept hearing one of the cutters say something about getting "hit in the back" or something. It seemed weird to me. After exiting the ride, we saw some people talking to a security guard and he went in the exit. We decided to wait around and see if the cutters were going to get "ejected," but they didn't unfortunately, so we moved on.

We hit Firehawk and stopped for lunch at Subway and Skyline. We then went on the Racer and "raced" each other, shouting threats and junk the whole time. Glenn and Luke made it back first, but they got lucky. I must say, the Racer can cause some pretty severe "woodlash." Afterwards, we rode Flight Deck (Top Gun) and Adventure Express. On one of the rides (I think Adventure Express), the ride attendant said over the mic "Michael, get me a water, no ice." This pale, awkward, skinny kid that couldn't have been older than 16 quickly walked over to get her a water. I took notice of this, and as Michael walked by to check our restraining device I said, "Michael, don't listen to her." And Glenn told him to stop letting her boss him around or it would only get worse. The kid paused for a second and then awkwardly said, "I have to make a living somehow." We didn't really know how to respond to that.

Later, we rode Delirium, or "Delirious" as I prefer to call it in reference to Dave Chappelle's Rick James skit. As we waited for the ride attendants to make their rounds, a balloon drifted over to Luke and he was able to pick it up with his feet. When Emily the attendant made it to him she just kind of stared and started to laugh. She looked back at the ride operator to see if she could let him hold on to it, but then said "I don't want to get fired" and took it away. After exiting the ride, Luke said something to her and the three of us told him he had to go back and get her number. We moved on to Invertigo (Face Off) and the Flight of F.E.A.R. and decided to check beck to see if Emily was still there. She was no longer at the ride, which was too bad. I wanted to see Luke hit on her.

We wanted to ride one more ride before leaving, so Luke made us ride the Crypt (Tomb Raider). The line was decently long for the Crypt and some of us were hesitant to wait, but Luke insisted, so we did. The ride ended up being pretty crappy - two rows of seats that rotate four times: once normally and once fixed so that the seats flipped upside down, then the same in the reverse direction. Definitely not worth the wait in line. Glenn was so pissed that he renamed the ride "the Crapt." Luke insisted that the ride was great, but I think he was just saying that to keep from having to admit that he made us go on a crappy ride. We got off and contemplated looking for Emily, but we decided that it was highly unlikely that we'd find her, so we left the park.

It should be noted that at least three people commented on Luke's toe-things (Vibram Five Finger shoes), so Glenn began to accuse him of wearing them for attention and called him an attention whore several times. What was even funnier was that Luke got way more comments on his toe-things at Cedar Point last year, where probably ten or more people said something.

Nate remembered that there was a BD's Mongolian Grille nearby, and we went there for dinner, which was delicious. Glenn noticed that they had $1 draft beers, so he got some and hit on the waitress, Ashlynn (whom he renamed "Dunk"). She took it pretty well. When she returned our cards, she read off the names on the cards and stopped at Glenn's for a second, saying she wasn't sure if it was a 'C' or a 'G.' We laughed at this because "Clenn" wouldn't have made much sense. I'm pretty sure Ashlynn made a huge tip from our table that night. Nate departed for C-bus and the three of us headed back to my place.

Glenn and Luke decided to get a (m/h)otel for the night because Glenn wanted to go out and get crunk. After much searching on Google Maps in a parking lot, he found one and we went over and played Settlers of Catan again. We headed back over to Newport and went to Bar Louie to meet two of his friends there, Jordan and Lauren. We had a good time talking and junk and I discovered that Jordan had actually gone to the same high school as me and I had taken a few classes with his brother. It got late and everyone eventually left. I said my goodbyes to Glenn and Luke and went home.

The next two days were spent at the mansion (Mike W.'s aunt's house), which we are house sitting. The place is huge, so Mike W. and usually communicate via IM from different rooms. We'll be there all week, and Mon Rob comes into town on Thursday, so it should be a good time.

9 responses to "Kings Island."

    7/20/2009 12:32:03 PM
Luke was attention whoring to the max.
    7/20/2009 12:40:03 PM
Yes he was. I added it in the post.
    7/20/2009 2:07:28 PM
What da hork?! Unjustly accused. And the Crypt was a good ride. I don't see why it got everyone so pissed. I think Dan is right, you guys were all just scared, couldn't handle it and wanting the ride the "Blue Popsicle".
    7/20/2009 2:20:18 PM
If we were all too scared and couldn't handle it, then why did we ride it? We didn't start hating until after the ride was over. And what the hork is the "Blue Popsicle"?
    7/20/2009 2:36:49 PM
Luke, "inside" jokes usually don't hork (work) "outside." Blue Popsicle is an imaginary ride that Crazy Dan (that's my new nickname for him) made up when Luke explained the Crapt to him. It actually was pretty funny when he said that I just wanted to ride the Blue Popsicle. I shipped "Dunk" a 5-spot on a $15 bill. Good weekend.
    7/20/2009 2:37:52 PM
Any new profile pics as a result of this trip?
    7/20/2009 2:53:20 PM
I'm still disappointed that Clenn didn't ask Dunk if she was on the menu.
    8/3/2009 12:39:20 PM
Nate - your blog is the worst looking webpage I have ever seen. I would have posted this on your blog instead of Greg's but yours doesn't have comments... or formatting, links, or colors. Or anything. C'mon.
    8/3/2009 1:03:28 PM
Clenn - Clearly you have never been to ( I'd say I have that one beat. Comments, formatting, links, and colors are for showoffs. I kick it old school.

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