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7/16/07

Top Ten Things I Hate About WoW Players

Introduction

Here it is - the third installment of my hatred. There are very few things more annoying that the average World of Warcraft player. Let's take a look at some of the biggest reasons.

#10: "Combines"

To be clearer, this is when someone wants to craft an item and sell it. Awesome. What bugs me is when they call it a "combine." Combine sounds like they are cooking a meal and they have to combine the dry ingredients in a large bowl. I don't know who coined this term but I just recently started seeing it. You're crafting an item, you're not tossing the parts into a blender and hitting "liquify."

#9: "Price check on ..."

This is when a lazy person wants to sell something but doesn't know how much to charge. I understand, sometimes it's hard to know how much something is really worth. But there is a very simple solution: look at the auction house, find the lowest price, put it up for around that much. Okay, so there aren't any up at the moment. Big deal. You may have heard of some sites such as Allakhazam.com or Wowhead.com. Look the item up, find the median price, sell it. Stop being lazy and annoying.

#8: Using the yell channel for anything

I don't know why Blizzard made this channel. Seriously. It's a bright red text that everyone in the zone sees - a magnet for attention whores. I can think of no reason why this channel should ever be used. If you want to buy or sell something, use Trade. If you want to say something worthless, use General. As far as I'm concerned, those are the only two kinds of messages.

#7: The "Fearless Leader"

This is the guy that insists on "leading" the group you are in. He tells the other classes how to play whether or not he knows anything. He has idiotic strategies for bosses and demands that his underlings follow them. He places the blame when wipes happen, though absolutely never on himself. This guy is almost always a DPS class, because he is obsessed with being the best, and healers and tanks can never satisfy the damage cravings. Plus, it's just so much easier to blame the healer or tank for wipes. If you are ever in a group with this guy, leave immediately. You'll save a lot of time and money.

#6: "Make an offer"

This is when someone is selling an item in the trade channel rather than the auction house and either doesn't know how much to charge, or wants more than the item is worth. This is an inherently stupid way of selling an item because not everyone will see that your item is for sale. People who have left the Trade channel, people who aren't in the area, and people who don't read the chat will all miss it. Even so, having people "make an offer" is the exact same thing as putting it in the auction house - the highest bidder wins. So why not put it up? Because the person is greedy, plain and simple, and will try to trick others into paying more than the item is worth. I refuse to deal with people like this. You don't walk into a Wal-Mart to buy a box of cereal only to have the cashier ask you what you're willing to pay for it. If you want to let people fight over the item, put it in the auction house and stop being a greedy hork-off.

#5: Misuse of the Trade channel

The Trade channel is the only potentially useful channel in WoW. The only problem is that all major cities use the same channel. Therefore, larger audience = more idiots posting useless messages. You can see everything from LFG to arguments to people yelling names in the Trade channel, and this pisses me off. I left all the other channels for a reason, and now I still have to read this crap. My ignore list fills up rapidly due to the misuse of the Trade channel.

#4: Beggars and people that feed them

Beggars make me sick. Being a beggar is the lowest, laziest, most selfish rank a person can drop to. When you are too lazy to go out and earn your own money and XP, you need to stop playing WoW immediately. Go and do some quests, or join a guild and run some instances. Just stop asking every person for 5 gold "so u can buy ur new sword" or so you can repair all your broken equipment. But you know what's worse than a beggar? Someone who feeds them. This person only encourages beggars to grow and multiply. They say "I only gave them the money so they'd go away." Great. Except now they have renewed courage, hope, and determination and will pester 20 more people because you were a pushover. Thanks for nothing, moneybags.

#3: Duels and charters

Never challenge me to a duel. If I want to duel you, I'll ask you for one - they are a complete waste of time. The only reason someone duels is to show off his 1337 epix and PWN UR FAEC. It is impossible to impress me by dueling so don't even try. Frequently, the person will repeatedly open the duel window in hopes that "maybe he'll accept this time." Nope. Opening the duel window more than once gets you a permanent spot on my ignore list. Then, there are the guild charters. There's always someone who wants to start the next ub3r raiding guild at level 14. The name will be something stupid in all caps and he will repeatedly open the charter until there are basically two options in my book. And if you sign the charter, you're in the same boat as people in #4.

#2: "It crits for ..."

This is when you foolishly ask a DPS class how much damage one of his spells or abilities does. The majority of DPS classes are obsessed with out-damaging everyone else, so of course he will "round up" a little. This bugs me, but I can undo his "overestimate" in my head and get a reasonably close result. What really grinds my gears is when the person says "it crits for x damage." Great. What about when it doesn't crit? Like the majority of the time you use it. If your ability crits over 50% of the time, fine - tell me its critical damage. Except for a few cases, this is not possible. So stop trying to impress people with your 1337 crit damage. No one cares.

#1: Bragging

Finally, we have reached the pinnacle of my hatred. Are you ready? I'll start with the most common - people bragging about their DPS. This has close ties with #2, only it goes beyond telling people how much you crit for. Honestly, I don't care if you do a billion damage each second. I don't care if you kill warriors in one hit. I don't care if you kill 40-man raids in one hit. You really want to impress me? Stop bragging and I will be your best friend. Next. Everyone has a PvP story - a story about how he "once killed a level 70 when he was only level 46." Or how he "got this one guy 16 levels higher than him down to half life but then someone came and helped him." I don't believe you. You're just trying to show off like everyone else. Telling me some heroic story about your awesomeness makes me never believe anything you say ever again. Finally, there is the guy who is so pumped about topping the damage meters. Great. How would the guild do anything without your DPS? Aside from the millions of other DPS classes, that is. In my opinion, if you are trying to top the damage meters, it is a sign that you have DPS syndrome and need to cancel your account. End of story.

That's all. If you're a WoW player, you probably are familiar with most or all of these. It's important to recognize these mistakes so that one does not commit them himself.
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